


Lovesong 2018

by ModernGirl



Category: Orphan Black (TV), The L Word
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cophine Fluffathon, Cophine forever, Cosima everywhere, F/F, Fandoms Collide, Feels, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Scheming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-03-10 01:17:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13493800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ModernGirl/pseuds/ModernGirl
Summary: Cosima comes to live with her cousin Bette after her split with Tina. But Cosima, Alice, and the Tina's babysitter hatch a plan to put the family back together.AU L Word (but takes place after season 3 after Bette takes off with Angie) & Orphan Black





	1. Big Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> Do you remember the L Word? Did you just find the L Word?   
> This is my fun take of my favorite fandoms coming together. I mean how fun would it be if Cosima was related to Bette?

“Bette. Bette, wake up. You’re going to be late for school.”

“No, leave me alone, I don’t want to go to school.”

“Come on, Bette. What are you twelve? Get your old ass out of bed and get ready for school.”

“Wait what did you call me?” Ah that got her attention.

“Ass?” I responded innocently. 

“No the other thing.” She asked rubbing the sleep out of one eyes and glared at me with the other.

“Ah old. Yes old ass.” I said simply while grabbing the covers from the bed.

“Dammit. Cos! What if I was naked?!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. I just smiled in return, making my way to the door. 

“Then I’d have to go and gauge my eyes out. And then what?”

“The world rejoices.” She said.

“Hmmm. Good one cuz. Breakfast’s in twenty.” And with that I made my way to the kitchen to start the day. 

“Yes much better.” I tell her when she comes out of her bedroom in an outfit that would knock anyone on their ass. In a tasteful way, of course. 

“What? What’s better?” 

“You. You look like a decent member of society, now.” I laughed, she didn’t. What else is new. 

“I don’t know why I even bother with you.”

“Yeah and I don’t know why you fall for that joke every morning.” I tell her as I place her big breakfast in front of her. 

“Because I figured one morning you would wake up with a conscience.”

“Yeah good luck with that, my dear.”

“Have you called your mother this week?”

“Bette.” I whined. I didn’t mean to sound like a child but, it was too early to bring my mother up.

 

“That’s what I thought.” She finished with a self satisfied smirk. We play this game every morning. Trying to see who could annoy the other the most. Most of time Bette wins because she brings up my mother. 

“You’re such an asshole.”

She laughs. “Seriously. Did you call her?”

“No. I didn’t. I promised her the last time we spoke that I wouldn’t call until I was straight. And wouldn’t you know it, not a damn thing has changed.”

“You should call her soon. Don’t let her prejudice come between you two.” She suddenly got serious on me and a little teary eyed. Not unusual for Bette, but it’s usually when anyone mentions Tina or little Angie. Speaking of which...

“Promise you’ll call her after graduation today?”

“I don’t know if I can. I mean I know that you’ve forgiven Papa Porter for the things he’s said and done to you. But with my mom it’s different. She’s really outspoken about it.”

“Nevertheless. Call her.” We ate in relative silence the rest of breakfast. Which means Bette was thinking about what Tina was doing, at least that’s what Alice told me she’s thinking. As for me I was thinking about how to hold a civil conversation with my mother this evening. 

“I still can’t believe he let you call him that.” She said, breaking the silence. Maybe she was thinking about her dad and not Tina after all. 

“What?”

“Daddy. I can’t believe he let you call him Papa Porter.” She chuckled in spite of the pain that remained on her face anytime he was mentioned.

“He was more like a dad to me than an uncle. I always felt that. So he pretty much let me call him whatever.”

“And you settled on Papa Porter.”

“Actually, he did.” She nodded in understanding and continued to eat. I don’t know if she could tell, but I could see her chewing the inside of her lip. A sure Porter sign of wanting to say something, but not knowing how. 

“I miss him too.” I told her after I grabbed her free hand across the table. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for the memorial. I didn’t know until......”

“I know. We talked about this remember?” she offered a weak smile in return. “Thank you.” She said. Then she got up and walked slowly to the sink. 

“For what?”

“For being a pain in the ass. For being here with me. For not letting me spiral into the darkness.”

“Blah, blah, blah, Bette. We’re family, of course I would be here for you.”

“I know but...” I held up my hand and stopped her before she could continue. 

“But nothing. After all you’ve done for me this year alone, how could I not do something for you.”

“Even eating all of my food?”

“Oh you mean the food you buy in the hopes that I’ll make you something? That food?”

“Yes, that food.”

“I love you Bette. You’re my favorite cousin.”

“I bet you say that to all of your cousins.”

“Yes, but you are the one providing shelter now, so I love you the most.”

“I see.” She added with an eyebrow arched and hand on her hip.

“Now get your shit together, go into the office or something and I’ll see you later this afternoon.”

“Ok, thanks.”

“And don’t fuck up your make up, with all that blubbering. You want to make your students think that you’re a put together hard ass, don’t you?”

“Remind me to forbid Alice from hanging out with you, Cos.” She called from the bedroom. 

A few minutes later she came out of the bedroom with her briefcase and keys in hand. That necklace with the ring on it dangling around her neck. She nor her friends will tell me where she got it from, though I suspect I already know. 

“Cos. Cos.” Bette said, breaking me from my thoughts. “How do I look?”

“Million bucks, Bette. But I bet you already knew that.” She smiled and cocked her eyebrow up. Flashes of the old Bette I like to call it. 

“You’re such a glamour puss, Bette.”

“Can’t help it if I look like a million bucks, cousin.”

“Yeah well you’re still an asshole.”

“Runs in the family, now help me with this jacket thing.” 

“She called while you were in the shower.” I slipped in, while I was brushing the last little wrinkles in her jacket away. She stopped and looked me dead in the eyes. 

“Why?” Bette’s voice got small and her eyes took on a frightened look. I’ve only met Tina a few times, all before I moved out here, but she must be some kind of woman to take away the power Bette has. 

“Maybe she wanted to talk to you about Angie?”

“How do you know that?” she asked gaining a little more strength in her voice. That and a flash of hope and a thin layer of anger in her eyes. 

“Because when she called, she said she wanted to talk to you about Angie.” Bette raised her eyebrows skeptically. “I don’t make assumptions Bette. That’s what the woman said. I don’t know what that means.”

“It could mean a few things. None of them good. For me anyway.”

“Bette, maybe you shouldn’t think the worst about her.” She scoffed instead of answering me. Never a good sign. For her staff anyway. All that scoff meant, was that she would spend her whole day snapping at whatever poor staff member with a question for her. I really hate what I’m about to say.

“You should call her before she calls you.”

“You have got to be joking.” She scoffed again and moved a little away from me. 

“No, think about it. You get the drop on her before she gets to over think whatever she wanted to tell you.” I tell her in moy most convincing voice. Whether or not she buys it, is anyone’s guess really. 

“What makes you think that she has anything good to tell me?” I could tell I was losing quickly to that anger that has always quietly consumed her. So I break a promise to myself and Shane and say what I need to say to get through to her. 

“Because she sounded like she needed you too. Like, your voice anyway.”

“If you heard anything good come out of Tina’s mouth or in her tone of voice, then that just proves you don’t know her at all.” 

“Fair enough.” I replied, conceded to her point. “Call me if you need anything Bette.”

“Ok, see you this afternoon. Call your mother.”

“Alright, I’ll do that right now.” I said picking up the phone. “If she gives me shit today, I’m gonna make the rest of your day a living hell Bette and I’ll get Al to help me.”

“Promises, promises.” She answered before closing the door.

I waited a good five minutes after Bette left before I even attempted to look at the phone that was occupying my increasingly sweaty palms. Finally after I was sure that Bette was safely stuck in traffic and could not come home, I dialed. After a few rings she picked up. 

“Hey...um, Tina. Yeah it’s Cos.”

God forgive me.


	2. I’m Going In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosima calls Tina back and does the unthinkable. Fortunately, the gamble appears to pay off and a new lady enters her life, turning everything upside down.

“Hey Cos, it’s good to talk to you again. But I was kinda of expecting it to be Bette.”

“Yeah I know. But I don’t think that going to happen Tina. Not today or any day soon.” I tell her nervously resisting the urge to bite my nails.

“Oh that bad, huh?”

“Well she didn’t spit fire of anything. So I think we’re making progress.”

“How is she?”

“What do you want from her Tina?” I asked a little too bluntly. But of all her stalling tactics and subtle ways of trying to pump me for information was kind of getting to me. 

“I really think I should talk to Bette about that, Cos.” She snapped right back. 

“I don’t think that a great idea Tina. I don’t know what happened.....”

“That’s right you don’t, so don’t assume that you do.” she responded quickly with a more severe bite in her tone. 

“Nevertheless, I know that when Bette is alone with you, she doesn’t stand a chance. She’s still putty in your hands Tina, in case you already didn’t know. She would do anything to make you happy, including giving up her daughter. And I think she should be protected for that and you from now on.”

“Bette’s a strong woman. She can stand up to anything. I’ve seen her......”

“Except you.” I said loud enough to cut her off. She didn’t, couldn’t say anything to that, but that didn’t stop my temper from flaring. The more I remembered the conversations I had with Alice about Bette’s affair, the year after it, Angie’s birth, Papa’s death, and finally the way Tina took everything from Bette, the more agitated I got. 

“Did you hear me Tina? She can’t stand up to you. She’s practically a love sick puppy when it comes to you. And now you call out of the blue after almost a year of nothing wanting to talk? I don’t think so.” She continued to stay quiet. I mean she didn’t say anything, but I could hear her muffling small cries. Great, now if she does talk to Bette, she’s gonna tell her I made her cry. 

“Tina? Tina are you there?” I asked a little more calm. even though I refused to completely drop my guard around her.

“Yeah, yes, I’m here.” she answered in a small voice. What is it with these two? Whenever the other is mentioned, they always seem to lose their ability to speak? “I don’t mean to completely disrupt her life. I know that she has graduation today and I was hoping to attend with Angie.”

“Why?” That came out as an automatic response.

“Because...I’m not sure.” she said with voice thick with emotion.

“Well if you don’t know, then what are you going to say to Bette when she sees you? This is a pretty big day for her Tina, and I think I already kinda soured it for her by mentioning your name.”

“Really damn.” Was all she said. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If Bette gets bad news and she can’t immediately drop what she has to do to fix it.... Well let’s just say that others incur her wrath. So I guess that means everybody on her staff will see a new side to their boss.”

“You know I was thinking the same thing.” I laughed a little despite my other promise to forever be a member of the “I Hate Tina Club.” And yes I am the only member. 

“It looks like you two have gotten closer.”

“Yeah we have, she’s the best.”

“Hey listen, Cos if she won’t see me.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well if I’m not allowed to see her, then can I least meet you for coffee? I really need to say this to Bette, but I guess the best I’m gonna get is talking to you.”

“Gee thanks.” She laughed and I joined her. Wait a minute. God dammit, Alice was right. She is a charming woman. 

“I’m sorry that came out all wrong. But do you think that it’s at all possible?”

“Sure, why not.”

“How’s today sound?”

“Well I was really supposed to call my mother, but I guess I could leave that fresh hell for another day. Where do you want to meet?”

*****************************************************************************

In what seemed to be the longest graduation in history, I was finally free. Of course, as expected I got the third degree because I couldn’t go the huge afterparty at the Planet. But I figured that it would be a lot better when the sun set anyway. As I sat in traffic anxiously inching closer to my destination, I remembered everything I heard from Bette herself years ago about Tina. She told me, giddy over the phone about their wedding and honeymoon. Every story she told me about Tina was laced with the romantic ideals we all hope to achieve when we meet a new love. Bette never told me about the fights, the separations, how deeply painful Papa Porter and his intolerance was when they told him about the baby. Christ she didn’t even tell me that Tina had a miscarriage. I didn’t know a thing. Kit had to fill me in before I got here. Not everything of course, just enough to feel sorry for them both of them. Then there was Angie, who was the sweetest looking baby on the face of the planet. How could anybody take something away like that? Wasn’t this child conceived in love and commitment between two people? I didn’t understand it. Neither did anyone else in their circle of friends. Maybe that’s why their conversations seem a little edited and forced. It wasn’t always like this I’m sure. 

******************************************************************************

“Hey Tina.” I say taking a seat across from her in this pretty empty café. 

“Hey Cosima.” She smiles back. 

“Did your parents really want to name you Cosmos?”

“Yes, they did.”

“After the mini series, right?”

“It was mom’s favorite at the time. I can see why now. But back then I hated it. She would show it to any friend that happen to come to the house.” Tina’s smile is disarming, as I can feel myself relax. She appeared to be doing the same. 

“So how come you’re out here. No one will tell me.”

“That’s because Bette has explicit instructions to keep you out of the loop when it comes to her family.” Her head dropped. More out of embarrassment and shame than anything else I bet. Still I wasn’t going to leave her hanging. 

“Still that doesn’t mean I won’t tell you.” I tell her pulling her head up by her chin. I couldn’t help it. She was at one time family and my favorite cousin’s wife. Plus in the few minutes that we have sat here, I can see that she was still a genuinely nice person. 

“After I finished college, my mother thought it would be best if I come out here and live with my cousin. She thought I needed a positive influence to get over my shameful lifestyle.” I grin cheekily after I thought about that conversation I had with my mother all those months ago. 

“Shameful lifestyle?” 

“Being gay.” At that Tina almost spit out her water. Instead she forced herself to swallow and started to cough instead. I jumped up to help her. All the while I couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled up inside of me.  
“I’m ok.” She answered after a while. “Let me get this straight.” Interesting choice of words. “She basically shipped you out here, because she thought that Bette would turn you away from being gay? Doesn’t she know that Bette is like an uber lesbian?” She said uber-lesbian with some sort of twinkle in her eye and I wonder what it meant. 

“No, she doesn’t. Apparently, papa never told her that Bette was gay, for obvious reasons. So she just assumed that Bette was so consumed with making a mark for herself in the world that she didn’t have time for the ‘right man’ as she called it. She thought that living with Bette would give me direction.”

“And has it.”

“Sure. She gave me directions to the best lesbian bars.” She laughed at my joke. I don’t know, maybe it’s a Porter thing. But her bright smile, coupled with her rosy cheeks gave her some sort of glow. I noticed it the first time I saw her smile at me years ago. Bette had mentioned then that Tina’s true smile could disarm the hardest person on earth. Kit has agreed. Now, sitting here, I was convinced of its power. 

“So Cos, how are the girls treating you?”

“Great. Alice is funny. Shane is showing me the ropes.” Her eyes got big when I mentioned the ‘ropes’ and Shane. “Not like that. I mean she teaching me how to read people. And how to not listen to anything that Alice has to say about, well anything.”

“And Dana?” She asked almost in a whisper. I know from talking to the girls that Dana will absolutely not see Tina. 

“She’s better. After the last visit to the hospital she seems to be in good spirits.”

“That’s wonderful. I’ve been worried that if something happened to her, they probably wouldn’t tell me anything.”

“I don’t know about all that Tina, but you know, she is still upset.” I said honestly.

“So I take it, you know what happened.”

“Just her side as told to me by Alice. Do you want to tell me what happened?” She shook her no the memory of almost losing one of her best friends too much for her. 

“Dana was, is upset that while she lay dying in her hospital bed, you went on a date with a guy. She couldn’t believe that she would’ve died knowing that part of her family was breaking up.”

“Is that what she thought?” her voice quiet and trembling.  
“Well it’s true isn’t it?”

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s good to know that you and Bette still use that term to summarize a situation.” I smiled, she sat drinking her tea, instead of saying anything more. 

“How’s Angie?”

“I wanted to be there for her. But I didn’t think it was my place.” she replied instead of answering the question. Maybe it was too painful. Maybe she didn’t want me to know. 

“I know. I guess. I wasn’t there and it has nothing to do with me. So I really can’t say anything about that.“How’s Angelica?” I repeated. 

“Perfect.” She answered bringing that wide smile to her face again. 

“Oh really. I heard she’s just like Bette. So I find that hard to believe.” Tina scoffed but smiled again. 

“She is stubborn as hell, does things her way. But she is beautiful with a smile that can break anyone in a million pieces. So yes she is very much like Bette in that respect.”

“Didn’t take long, did it?”

“What?”

“For those Porter traits to invade your daughter?” I said as carefully as possible. I knew that there would be a possibility that she would take that the wrong way.

“No not at all.” She answered as she started to dig her in her purse. 

“Here she is.” She held out a picture. It was Angie a little older than in Bette’s pictures. She looked so happy. She had Tina’s hazel eyes, but Bette’s big expressive shape. As well as Bette’s curly hair. So happy, I wondered if she missed her mother at all or she was a distant dream that she would soon forget. 

“She does know Bette, you know.” 

“How?” I asked taking the picture from Tina, studying it more.

“I tell her about her, show Angie her picture.” Suddenly after tearing my gaze away from this little miracle, I looked at Tina again. I saw Bette, crumbled in a ball on the kitchen floor sobbing, crying out for her family. There was nothing I could do. I didn’t know how to find anyone that night. It saddened me, it still does. So to hear those words come out of Tina’s mouth after I recalled that memory, well it pissed me off. 

“Why? If you had no intention of sharing custody with Bette. Why torture her with this image? This woman who Angie would never see, this ghost.” My face was getting hot, and I felt that I might start seeing red. 

“I can’t explain that to you without sounding callous and confused and everything else you’ve probably heard about me.”

“Don’t assume you know what I’ve heard or seen Tina.” I told her giving her the picture. It became a cruel reminder of the family that my cousin had but would never again know.

“Keep it. It’s for Bette. I want you to give it to her, when you think it’s right.”

“Maybe she’ll never be ready Tina.” She sighed heavily and closed her eyes. 

Her voice started out a little shaky before she continued. “I want Bette to know Angelica. I want to go through with the adoption. I want.....just.....I want Bette and I ......” She started to cry. For a minute I wasn’t sure if going to her would betray Bette’s feelings about this whole thing with Tina. But of course the human decency thing kicked in and I walked over and soothed away her sobs by stroking her back in small circles. 

“Mama!!!” I hear through Tina’s cries. Tina seemed to hear it too, through her cries. It didn’t take her long to straighten up and put on her faux happy face. My guess is that she’s had to do this on more than one occasion in front of Angie. 

“Hey boo-boo” She called to her. The stranger that held Angie carried her to Tina and handed her off. It took a moment later before she saw me. 

“Hey Tina.” The very very attractive woman said to Tina. I need a moment please to pick my jaw off of the floor. Sweet Jesus, please don’t let them be a couple. Wavy blonde hair that seemed to halo around her freckled face and dark make up to match. She had an edgy look to her. And the piercing in her bottom lip didn’t hurt. I wondered where you would find a sitter like this. Only in Los Angeles I suppose. 

“Who’s this?” She asked, looking at me. And yes I think she noticed me and checking her out. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Delphine this is Cosima, Bette’s cousin.” She looked really kind of shocked to hear that. 

“Bette’s cousin?” she asked looking at Tina and then back at me and for the first time I noticed her noticeable French accent. Too bad I was too awestruck to interject with a witty comment. “Well Tina, I’ve got to hand it to you, I really didn’t think that you would actually call Bette.”

“Well you were wrong as usual. So can you join us?”

“No, that’s why I was late. The session went a little longer than expected, but I have to go back. Besides it looks like you got family things to work out here.”

“You didn’t have her in the studio with all those loud instruments did you Delphine?” Tina asks in full Mama Bear mode.

“No mother I didn’t. She was behind the glass just like me.”

“You’re a musician?” I finally asked coming out of my stupid trance. I could not stop looking at her. But in an interested way, not a scary stalker-guy way. 

“Yeah, I am. But watching Angie is my favorite gig. Right Ang?” She asked the toddler, who just uttered gibberish as a response. The two adults laughed and I looked at Angie for the first time. There she was in all of her glory. Hella cute with a happy giggle to match. No doubt that this kid would be a heartbreaker. I have only been in her presence for a couple of minutes before my heart decided that I loved her. I could see that taking a light like this away would make you want to crawl into a ball and die. 

“Well ladies. I’ll leave you to it. Tina call me later. It was good meeting you, Cosima. Hopefully if those two can get their act together, we’ll see more of each other. I gave my best smile as an answer. “See you later Angie.” She added before she turned and left. 

“Eyes up here” I heard Tina say. She caught me fully checking out Delphine as she turned and left. 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s ok. So let me properly introduce you two. Angelica Porter-Kennard meet your cousin Cosima Porter Niehaus.” 

I shook Angie’s tiny hand. She giggled as me and shook it back with as much enthusiasm and force as a baby could give. Yep I love her alright. I took a breath before I let go of her hand and looked up at Tina again. “So you kept her name, huh?”

“I never had any real intention about making it otherwise.” She said sincerely. I nodded. We stayed quiet. Angelica played with a table napkin while Tina stroked her hair absently with a far away look in her eyes. I sat there torn, until I heard the word that made up my mind on what I had to do. 

“Bette.” Angelica said, reaching for Tina’s purse. I’m guessing that Tina had a picture of Bette in there for Angelica. At least I think it was for her. 

“Tina.” I began trying to find the right words. 

“Yeah,” she replied digging through her purse for the second time today.

“Consider me in the middle.”  
******************************************************************************

About three hours later, all of which were spent in that café, I got home. When I only saw Bette’s car home I felt both dread and elation. Elation that she was alone. Dread because there would be a possibility she would start in on the twenty questions. She was just like my mother sometimes. 

“How is she?” She asked coming out of the kitchen with a couple of wine glasses. 

“Who?” I asked dumbly. 

“Tina. Did she have anything interesting to say?” She inquired taking a sip of wine. I in turn took a big gulp. 

“Careful, this stuff’s expensive and strong.”

“I don’t think I can answer that question for you Bette.” I tell her, heeding her warning about the wine. 

“Ok, fair enough.”

“How was the party?” I asked trying to change the subject. 

“Boring. Anything else happen?”

“You know Bette, I think that you should really talk to Tina.”

“Don’t want to get in the middle, huh? I get that.” 

“Exactly.” I hate lying to Bette. But maybe it’s what they both needed. I reached into my back pocket in search of Tina’s olive branch. “She asked me to give this to you.” I handed her the picture of Angie that Tina gave me hours earlier.

“Angelica.......” She took a breath “Angelica Porter-Kennard’s 1st birthday.” It broke my heart the way she said her own last name like that. I guess she couldn’t believe that Tina would do something as decent as keeping her name. To me it was kind of surprising. But to Bette it was is if the wind have been knocked out of her. 

“Bette.” I walked over to her cautiously as I couldn’t really read her facial expression. She backed away from me quickly, like a caged animal. 

“Is this your idea of not getting in the middle?” She asked me bitterly,her eyes were cold as she glared at me. Her shaky voice betraying her. Bette turned back to her room, taking a gulp out of her wine. She closed the door never uttering another word, or taking her eyes off of the little girl in the picture. 

I really don’t know what I just put myself in the middle of do I?


	3. Taking Responsibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosima gets busted (again) and searches for an ally. When an unexpected one emerges, they threaten to turn her flimsy plan upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking a break from my other story to update this light hearted one.  
> But no fear, dear readers, I haven't given up on Don't Get on the Train. I love that story dearly, it's just dark. And in these very dark times, sometimes a little lightness can make everything better. 
> 
> Thanks for reading this one. It's just getting started!

“You WHAT!!!!!” Alice screamed at me. Luckily for us the Planet was nearly empty at this time of the day. People at work I guess. But it seemed like the customers that were there were used to Alice’s outbursts. They barely even turned to her. 

“Careful Alice, I don’t think the kids in New York heard you.” I say back. 

“Well I think that they should, you know how huge this is to the queer community?”

“No. Why don’t you enlighten me, oh wise bisexual one.” I say bowing to her.

“Hey watch it newbie, you’re too young to be calling me names like that.” She said in a mock serious tone.

“Please, Alice” I began after she started to stare me down. “The stare down thing doesn’t work when Bette does it. And she is far scarier than you.” 

“She’s got you there, Al.” Shane piped up after taking a seat. Her trademark dark glasses casually thrown on the table, she began to look around the café. 

 

“Man it’s dead in here.” Shane said after no one added anything to the conversation. 

“Hey how come you guys are never at work? I mean it’s the middle of the day.” I inquired after I realized that the café was empty because people actually worked in the day time. 

“We live the lives of fictional characters, I guess.” Shane said.

“It’s because we don’t have nine to fives.” Dana said reaching the table. Shane jumped up in an instant and offered her chair, while she grabbed another for herself. 

“Thanks Shane.”

“No problem, sweetie.” Shane says smiling and running her hand over Dana’s short stubble of hair. 

“Hey cutie.” Alice added cheerily. I know a little about the relationship these two had, but the friendship that they do have is one of the strongest I’ve ever seen. 

“Hi, Al.” Dana responded to Alice by placing a quick kiss on her cheek. Dana smiled wide and Alice couldn’t stop grinning. I took a look over at Shane who just shook her head and smiled while drinking her coffee. Maybe I have missed a lot in the last couple of days. 

“Anyway, why were you screaming this time Alice?” Dana asked.  
“You heard that?”

“Alice, I think Tina heard it.” I say. I didn’t expect both Shane and Dana to almost lose their drinks at the mention of her name. 

“You guys it’s ok. We were actually talking about Tina.” Alice added jumping to my defense. 

“Why?” Dana asked with a look of mild disgust on her face. I think I may have tripped my second land mine in less than two days. 

“Well its funny that you should mention that... because she... well she” I know I began a little unsteadily. But all of their eyes were on me. I’m used to that if I’m telling a funny story about Bette and Kit, but not for something as mind numbingly painful as Bette and Tina’s separation. 

“Hey Cossie.” Saved by Kit. 

“Hey it’s my favorite cousin.” I jumped up and hugged her with all my might. 

“Hey, girl. What did these girls do to you?” she asked as she pushed me away and looked me over skeptically. 

 

“No, no we’re fine. We’re really good.” I said giving her my best fake smile. Too bad for me that has never worked as long as I’ve lived. 

“Mmm hmm. Come with me. I just got a phone call from Bette.”

“So. What does the sour puss want, now? She couldn’t get through the day without me?” I asked with my usual smirk.

“No, she didn’t mention you by name but, she did mention a photograph she received last night for a certain someone that Bette is not speaking to.” Kit answered cryptically. 

“There are photographs?” Alice asked wide eyed. She looked to Shane and Dana before she mouthed “naked?” to me. Like I would ever pass those pictures back and forth from Tina to Bette.

“Lay off, Alice.” I tell her. Not wanting to stir the pot anymore until I talked to the stern woman standing in front of us.

“Let’s go.” Kit said using her finger to beacon me to her office. 

“Wow, that is a site. Look at little CoCo getting sent to the principal’s office.” Alice laughed at me. Great, ridiculed by the ass of the group. I couldn’t really say anything. So I gave her the finger.  
But being in Kit’s office, sitting in her overstuff chair angled across from her own, was like being in the principal's office. 

“You really did it, this time, Cosima.”

“What happened to Cossie? Don’t you love me Kit?” Hey I figured that begging for pity wouldn’t hurt. 

“Whatever happened to minding your own business?” I just sighed and chewed my lip as a response. “I’m talking to you.” Too bad that never works on her either. 

“Kit you don’t understand.” I whined, effectively any attempt at a standoff with my intimidating cousin.

“Then help me to understand why a person from this family that was nowhere near Bette and Tina when they were separating could possibly find herself in the middle of their affairs.” 

“I don’t know how it all happened exactly.” which was the truth. 

“Then start from the beginning.” Kit stated with her full on stern face. Man I wish I wasn’t born into a family of hard asses sometimes. 

“Tina called yesterday and I picked up.”

 

“First mistake. Go on.”

That was necessary and I rolled my eyes to indicate it. But she wanted an explanation, so I pressed on. “She wanted to talk to Bette, but I wouldn’t let her. Because it was Bette’s big day and all.

“So far you’re looking good, kid. Get to the part where it all fell to shit.”

“I met with Tina and Angie was there.”

“She let you meet little Bette?” Kit asked with tears in her eyes. I forgot until now that Bette wasn’t the only one that lost Angie in this mess. From what I hear Kit loved that little girl to pieces. She was almost in as bad a shape as Bette was when she was taken.

“I’m sorry Kit, I forgot that she was special to you too.” I told her with the tears collecting in my own eyes. 

“How did she look?”

“She’s perfect, Kit. And she is the spitting image of Bette. Big eyes, out of control hair. And she’s funny too. She did the most hilarious......” I get so wrapped up with my fascination of Angie that I didn’t notice my cousin weeping at her desk. 

“I’m sorry, Kit. I’m so sorry.” I tell her. God, I’m such an obtuse asshole sometimes. 

“You don’t get it, do you? That little girl belongs to this family as much as she belongs to Tina. Now Bette would’ve never turned that child against Tina, the way I bet Tina has with Bette.”

“But that’s why I got in the middle Kit” I tell her, rubbing her back the same way I did with Tina a day ago. “She wants to do things differently. She doesn’t want Angie to grow up not knowing Bette.” Kit scoffs through her tears. I ignore her and continue. “That’s why she carries Bette’s picture around for Angie.” That got her attention. Kit immediately snapped her head up and stared at me in disbelief. 

“You’re shitting me?”

“Wish I was.”

“Regardless...”

“Regardless of what Kit? Wasn’t it you that told me all the time ago that no matter what God threw at them both, that they would always find a way to each other?” If it’s one thing that I love is calling a Porter out on their bullshit and I wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass me by.

 

“Don’t throw words I said a long time ago in my face little girl. I know damn well what I said.” I held my eye roll in check here though. Something told me that Kit was in no mood for my attitude. She might even hulk out and toss me across the room. Still I hate where this is going, so I cross my arms while she goes on her righteous rant. 

“But that was before Tina decided that Bette wasn’t a good enough provider for Angelica. That was before Tina _decided_ that those woman out there weren’t good enough to be her family. That was all before _she_ decided that the white picket fence, a husband, and a SUV in their suburban neighborhood was better than anything that WeHo could give her. And yes that was all before you brought your skinny ass out here.” Shit. If I knew that Kit would be this hard to break, I would’ve brought Alice in here with me. No, Alice is far too smart to go toe to toe with Kit. I never thought I would be brave enough to disagree with her when it came to matters of the heart. Especially when it came to her baby sister. According to Kit, even if you were family, you threatened the happiness of her little sister, you wouldn’t be safe. So here I sat, again across from her, both of us unflinching. She was waiting for me to back down, while I tried to find the right words to get through to her. 

“Kit, I never asked you to help me. And if Bette wants to run to you for updates, then that’s her business. I’m doing this to give Angelica her mother back to her. Where she belongs. If Bette and Tina _decide _to get together, then we’ll all know that it was meant to be.” I couldn’t say another word to Kit. Or look at her. No doubt she’s giving me that disapproving stare that Papa Porter was so good at giving. I wonder if she knows that she’s got that down.__

__Anyway finally stepping out of that office, knowing that Kit would not follow me, I felt as though I could breathe again. I walked over to the gang to resume our conversation._ _

__“So she lives to see another day.” Alice says, full smile beaming._ _

__“For now.” I tell them all, taking a well deserved gulp of my second double shot. Something tells me that I’m going to regret that in a while._ _

__“So you survived Kit’s lecture without any bruises or tears. I’d say you have tough skin kid.” Dana tells me shaking her head approvingly._ _

__“Guess it’s in the genes. Or the fact that I knew exactly what she was going to say.”_ _

__“So why don’t you tell us, what the hell happened yesterday while you were not attending the party.”_ _

__I gave them the whole story, starting with the first phone call, my ‘conversation’ with Delphine, Angelica’s magic word, and my entire conversation with Bette and later Kit. It was hard to believe that all that could have happen in twenty four hours. But I have the reputation of making things happen quickly._ _

__“You’re shitting me, Angie said that?” Was the first question I got after everyone let the whole thing sink in._ _

__“So Delphine was cute, huh?” Shane asked. It was if the whole world stopped when her face came into my head. Maybe I went off on a weird tangent, describing her to a tee. Maybe I drifted off a little. Or maybe Shane really is fucking Yoda._ _

__

__“No comment.” I offered nothing to her. But if my skin tone was a little lighter, than she could see me blushing._ _

__“That’s cute that this girl has you blushing.” Dana said laughing at me. How could she.....  
“Your skin is a little redder in the sunlight and let’s see,” she said touching my cheek. “Yep you’re all hot.”_ _

__“Ha-ha laugh it up. Did you guys not hear any of what I said?”_ _

__“Yeah we did. But I’m with Kit on this one. If Bette and Tina decided that being together is what they want, then it’ll happen. You can’t force anything.” Damn one reliable ally I thought I had in Shane was now all shot to hell._ _

__“I’m not trying to get them back together. I want Angelica to have the mother she deserves to have in Bette. Angie needs Bette as much as Bette needs her. That’s all I want to do.” For now, that’s what I tell them. Since no one is on my side here._ _

__“Well you can count me out, too.” Dana added. “ I’m in no condition to deal with Tina’s mind games._ _

__“I understand that Dana” I tell her. I wouldn’t get Dana involved even if she weren’t in recovery. She’s much too sensitive. And she’d spill the beans at the slightest hint of interrogation._ _

__Alice said nothing, so the whole table stayed quiet until Dana’s watch went off._ _

__“Hey I have to get to my doctor’s appointment. Alice you coming?”_ _

__“Of course.” Alice answered quickly, grabbing both of their bags._ _

__“Bye guys.” I waved._ _

__“I have to get going too, kid. You’ll be ok?” Shane asked._ _

__“Sure why not?”_ _

__“K. Call me tonight, we’ll hit Milk.”_ _

__“That sounds like music to my ears, Shane, thank you.” I said smiling up at her as she ruffled my hair._ _

__Truth was I was kinda bummed that no one was with me. I didn’t need them to help, but moral support would’ve been nice. Oh well looks like I’m completely alone in this._ _

__“It looks like someone just stole your favorite doll.” Delphine. And suddenly there was a sign I wanted to say that in my best movie voice-over voice. But I’ll save the corny stuff for later. I’ll lead her into a false sense of security before I unleash my inner geek._ _

__“Hey.” was all I managed._ _

__

__“Anybody sitting here?”_ _

__“Nope, my company has departed for the day.”_ _

__“Oh you and your girlfriend had lunch?” Oh very slick. Find out if I’m gay and if I’m available._ _

__“I’m sure that she would mind if I did have one. What about you? Does your girlfriend mind if you have a drink with your boss’ ex-wife’s cousin?” Ok not as cool, and it was a mouthful._ _

__“No she wouldn’t.” And she stopped, leaving me to wonder about, well everything._ _

__“Um, she’s not the jealous type?” I asked confused. I’m sure that it showed on my face. She starts to laugh._ _

__“I’m sorry, it was just too easy. I don’t have a girlfriend.” Yes score._ _

__“Oh.”_ _

__“You must not be used to people playing little jokes on you.”_ _

__“How do you figure?”_ _

__“I don’t know you seem like the type that always gets the drop on everyone else. The jokester. Let me guess you grew up in a place where everyone was older than you?”_ _

__“Yeah. I did.” Damn she can almost read people as well as Shane. I’m smiling like an idiot. There are no mirrors to confirm this, but I can feel it. I’m being really spazzy and she’s gonna leave._ _

__“Must be hard pulling one on you all the time. It seems like you have your shit together.” I scoff. Well it was more like a snort. Alright it was a full on, loud snort._ _

__“Jesus, I’m sorry.” I told her mortified._ _

__“It’s ok.” She said fully revealing the full power of those green eyes underneath that dark makeup. “I like my girls a little square around the edges.”_ _

__“Ok.” was all I could manage. And for once in a conversation that was enough to bring about another smile followed by a comfortable silence. All I heard, besides my heart beating wildly, were the plates meeting the coffee cups from the strangers around us._ _

__“So Tina and Bette.”_ _

__“Yeah so, Bette and Tina.” I repeated._ _

__“They’re like famous around here.”_ _

__

__“Yeah I know. God do I know.”_ _

__“When I first moved out here, they were like the ‘it’ couple in this whole neighborhood.”_ _

__“Yeah. That couldn’t have been easy.”_ _

__“Maybe not to Tina. Bette always looked like she reveled in the attention.” She says this and I frown, feeling a little protective of Bette and her supposed reputation as being cold to potential suitors. Suitors? God, can I be any more victorian?_ _

__“I’m sure that’s not entirely true. I mean think of how she must have felt after the entire community found out she cheated on Tina, or when Tina flipped over the table in this café .Let’s not forget when Tina started to see Helena.”_ _

__“Ok I get it.” She stopped me, by putting her hand on my leg. “So what’s the plan?”_ _

__“What makes you think I have a plan?”_ _

__“Well you do want them together again, don’t you?”_ _

__“I just want to do what’s best for Angie, that’s it.” I bend the truth to this beautiful stranger. I mean what if she runs to Tina and tells her what I’m planning on doing._ _

__“I do.”_ _

__“Really?”_ _

__“Sure. I think that Tina would be, I don’t know, whole again if she could get her family back.” God, she’s so pretty, the way her accents bends certain english words around._ _

__“But she thought her family was a mommy and a daddy. What changed?” I ask. Maybe she’s known Tina long enough to have that answer._ _

__“Henry sucked ass.” She simply said. Strangely enough it was a good reason. “Besides at one time I think that Tina wasn’t the type of person that sat on home on a Saturday night when she had a babysitter to watch movies or do work stuff._ _

__“Well I can’t say that Bette has ever been a fun person myself.”_ _

__“Come on you can’t really believe that?” I looked at her blankly._ _

__“No way. They had to be hot. Everyone used to talk about them.”_ _

__“Ok, who are these people that you keep referring to?” I ask her jokingly._ _

__“You know people......People that know things.” It may be a shot in the dark but what the hell._ _

__“These ‘people’ wouldn’t happen to be perky little know it all by the name of Alice, would it?”_ _

__

__“You know her?” She asked wide eyed._ _

__“All too well, as Bette would say.” She laughed and I relaxed. We let the heavy subject of Bette and Tina fade away. We actually talked into the early evening. And guess who got a date?_ _

__Later that night as I pulled into the driveway and practically skipped into the house. Bette wasn’t there, but she left a note saying she went over to Kit’s. not a good sign for me. But I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it._ _

__But just before I headed to my room, I heard the phone ring. Maybe it was Delphine._ _

__“Hey Romeo.” Nope just Alice._ _

__“Hey, Alice.” I’m disappointed, clearly. Have I mentioned that I like Delphine, yet?_ _

__“‘Hey Alice’? That’s all I get. You’re number one pal and all I get is a half hearted greeting. Anyone ever tell you that you’re getting more and more like Bette everyday.”_ _

__“Not lately.”_ _

__“Yeah well it’s not a good thing. Unless you want to be some stick in the mud party pooping brooding, egoistical....”_ _

__“Alice” I jump in. Alice, never a fan of silence between thoughts was likely to keep at it if I hadn’t stepped in. Besides I don’t want her to keep me on the line._ _

__“Best friend. See I know when to stop.” There was a slight pause in her whatever the hell she does. But I knew better than to start talking again. “Why is she listening?” she whispered._ _

__“No she’s not here.”_ _

__“Ok good, then we could speak freely.”_ _

__“Unless she’s got the phone tapped.” I say only half joking._ _

__“You’re right. Call me back, this line isn’t safe for what I need to say.” and then she hung up without another word._ _

__I guess waiting ten minutes to call her back made her a little impatient. I answered my cell phone casually. “Hello.”_ _

__

__“Damn you, Cos.”_ _

__“I’m sorry who may I say is calling?”  
“Listen little CoCo, cut it out this is serious.”_ _

__“Alright. I’ll be serious, but that is the last time I hear little CoCo come out of your mouth, agreed?”_ _

__“Nope. I don’t get into deals like that with Porters or Porter adjacents. It always ends badly for me. So I’ll try. That’s the best I can give you.”_ _

__“Fine Al, that’s fine. So what was it that you wanted to say?”_ _

__“Oh right the news that apparently wasn’t good enough for you to call me back right away.”_ _

__“Alice are you going to tell me, or do I have to figure it out for myself. Because if that’s the case then I don’t want to play.”_ _

__“Fine. Alright I wanted to say that I agree with you. Angie deserves Bette just as much as Bette needs her. So whatever you’re planning, count me in.” A wide beaming smile graced my face for the hundredth time today._ _

__“Good to know, Alice.”_ _

__“But you have to let me think of the code name.”_ _

__“Fine. But have one for tomorrow. I got to go. But call me.” I hung up to go get ready for my time out with Shane. I hadn’t even noticed that Bette had come in after I had hung up with Alice. She looked at me carefully. I was afraid she was still upset. Truth be told, I hate that I have to lie to her for this to work._ _

__“Hey pizza face. You’re all smiles, what’s up?”_ _

__“I got a date.” I say. Which is technically the truth._ _

__“Anyone I know?”_ _

__“Shane.”_ _

__“Alright. How about we go to the Planet in the morning for some breakfast.”_ _

__“Can’t I’m meeting Alice.” I answer quickly. The more I talk to her, the more I’ll have to look her in the face. And I just want t go out, not deal with...whatever she’s thinking about._ _

__“Ok. So is there anyone in my immediate circle that you’re not going to hang out with in the next handful of hours?”_ _

__

__“I haven’t planned anything with Dana yet. But the night is still young.”_ _

__“Smart ass.” She says to my back, as I am heading to my room._ _

__“I love you too cousin.” I say turning around to her as I reach my door._ _

__“So I heard that you called Kit your favorite cousin. Is that true?” she asked me walking to her room that was across from mine._ _

__“I had to.” I say defensively. “Your friends were ganging up on me. I needed salvation at the time. You understand, right?”_ _

__“I do.” she smiled her disarming smile. Just before it changed into her all too familiar serious and unwavering stare. “We need to talk about last night and today though.” I nodded slowly, never taking my eyes away from the ones that still reminded me of Angelica’s. I don’t care what they say or how they think they feel. I will put this together again._ _


End file.
